The sudden demise,
to the world’s surprise,
of Jakob ‘Le Fromage’ Frimmel

Jakob Frimmel loved Swiss cheese

And would consume, with apparent ease,

Two giant wheels that weighed a ton.

He simply ate and ate ‘til there was none.

What’s more after he had finished those,

and a quart of pickles, so the story goes,

he’d loudly belch, sounding like a lions roar.

Look around, pick his ear and ask ‘Is there more?”

After sixteen tons, still he ate,

and if he continued at this rate,

the world supply would run out

then Jakob Frimmel would really pout!

The Swiss were really quaking in their Alps,

sweat was beading on their scalps.

There wouldn’t be cheese enough to sate

Jakob Frimmels gluttonous state.

Cows were ordered to produce

ten times more milk and reduce

their sleeping time and their play

and keep chewing cud night and day.

To this the cows mooed “Gott in Himmel!

There’d be no love lost between them and Jakob Frimmel.

Then the desperate Ministry of Cheese exhorted the need for cheese to be now imported!

The nation’s honour was at stake.

How much more could they take.

Jakob Frimmel kept on eating his Swiss cheese,

ordering more, when done, without saying “Please”.

Then between a bite of cheese with bread

Jakob hiccupped then turned red,

Looking puzzled, knew not what this boded,

shrugged his shoulders, then exploded.

Jakob Frimmel, God bless him, is now laid to rest.

Scrapped up off the floor and walls and pressed

into a giant Swiss cheese. His epitaph: “Le Grande Fromage”.

It was the cheese that got him….

C’est dommage”.