Morganne Michel Pickering August 2010
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Power Places
Morganne Michel Pickering
In Harmony: Living From Your HeartMind
When I first came to the Island I was told “don’t expect people to return your calls” ?? Now, having been here 10 years and living in 2 large towns I have found this mostly to be true. What’s that about??? I am basically addressing the business arena of our lives and I really don’t understand this. If one is in business, one wants to do business. So…if one is so busy, successful, already, has enough business; I guess I can understand this attitude. And yet I wonder…is this lack of curiosity, fear of the new, laziness, rudeness or??
Business is done in a social mood of trust. That is a statement that I know for sure is true. We all respond from a sub-conscious level to people, circumstances, visuals, and sound. We’ve all heard that you only have one time to make a favourable first impression and since so much of communication is done via phone and now e-mail much of our body language cues are non-existent.
A phone conversation offers a “tone”, a way to gain clarity, have a dialog, give and receive information and most of all warmth and humour thus setting the stage for a good business relationship. E-mails don’t quite fit this test for me and while I do see their place in the business dialog; I still prefer the person to person contact.
So I’m back to my original question…why aren’t calls returned? (This is not about contacts that you have already made and decided are not for you.) Could this be a power play…to keep the person calling in a place of reaching out while you control the decision? For my part, I find that this game is played more by women than men. Maybe men are more comfortable in a cold call situation and can also get off the phone easier than women once they have made a decision. Men are also more comfortable doing business in social situations; the golf course, over lunch or dinner, on a hike etc. WE, do not do afternoon tea, sit in our gardens or bat a ball back and forth.
Since most women learned the “how” of being in business from the male model what is uniquely our style?? It is well documented that women are the best salespeople, we are masters at putting any person at ease…we fix situations and are very creative. What is the best way to gain trust and openness ??? When a man shakes the hand of another man in “agreement” they are not giving anything but a contractual acknowledgement and commitment. When a woman trusts and agrees she requires and “feels” a deeper sense of connection and understanding. The trust goes deeper (and therefore disappointment is a risk).
Back to the unreturned calls…can we only trust so much…do business with so many…give only to a set number…do we feel overwhelmed by too much required trust? How can we be truly and wildly successful when our very strengths get in the way? How can we develop a style that will allow flow, ease and fun in our work world and enjoy all the various gifts and creativity we bring to this arena. Our clients /customers will benefit greatly and thus we will have more business and profit.
I have had the big office, dozens of employees, big overhead , power lunches at big hotels in big cities throughout North America. I was the decision maker, not the male sales people who worked for me ( you should have heard some of the whispered conversations with the male heads of the companies we were meeting with when the decisions were referred to me…fun!!!). Looking back I wish that I had known that I could have done business differently… (although I never did wear a suit with a bow) I would have been more relaxed, had more plants around, music and better/healthier goodies and had more fun in the process of doing business.
Being “in our own power” allows us as women to come from our strengths; design how we want to do business, know that every-thing has an impact, adjust as required and most of all we can be respectful, supportive and be open and curious to those new calls/people reaching out to us and our business…this is the delight and fun of newness that life offers each day…are you up for it ?? are you ready to say “yes” ?? Then..return the call. (please).
Contact Morganne at 250-923-0084
E-mail nharmony@telus.net
www.wisewomennetwork.net