John Hellum February 2008

John Hellum, Man About Town

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Life is the Pits

We have all heard the adage “Life is not always a bowl cherries, and that may be so, but where does one spit the pits?

For thousands of years man has been eating and enjoying the fruits of his labor, usually with his hands and spitting the pits out onto the good earth with impunity. A satisfying feeling and well deserved, considering all the work it took to produce the vessel that contains the pits.

Aside from cherries, the best example civilization has to offer is the olive. Since the earliest times of agriculture, the olive has been a constant companion and a boon to man keeping the wheels of society, in fact whole races, well oiled and running smoothly. It gave rise to technological advances, culinary refinements, inspiring religious, literary, and fine art metaphors and styles. Not to mention highly profitable commercial ventures.

Further, who hasn’t dreamed of sitting under a shady vine covered pergola in Tuscany or Provence, drinking the local wine, nibbling on home made salami and cheese, fresh crusty rustic bread, and last but not least, a bowl of cured ripened olives directly harvested from the olive grove growing next to your villa.

Lying in the dappling sunlight and shade, you reach over with your fingers and pick out an olive, all slick and glistening from its lemon and oregano marinade. You draw it up to your mouth and pop it in, licking the salty acidic residue off your fingers, then bite into the voluptuous flesh of the olive, savoring the rich luscious feel and salty bite. Using your tongue and teeth with skillful dexterity, you separate the pit from the flesh, then, with languorous indifference, spit the pit in a rising arc over the lawn and let it fall where it will. This is followed by a sip of wine. Swirling and mingling the dry fruity robustness and earthy saltiness, only to be carried off into a sensual reverie. After a few eternal moments, you repeat this micro orgy of one.

Spitting out the pits without feeling the opprobrium that society expresses at such shows of uncouth eating habits is a liberating experience. Anything one can eat with a pit, (cherry, apricot, peach, pomegranate, lichee, olive … the list is long and succulent) will do.

Go ahead, give in to temptation and create your own intimate bacchanal, maybe with a friend. Life is a bowl of cherries to savor, and the pit be damned.

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