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A Mystical Surgery
Dr. Anke Zimmermann, BSc, ND, FCAH
Naturopathic Physician and Classical Homeopath
“I can’t feel anything.”
“Push up a bit higher. Now, push down towards the chest wall,” I instructed my doctor as he was fishing around in my left axilla.
“Oh there, yes, hmm. Well, I’m not worried about it.”
How many times had I heard this over the past three years from Dr. F, beginning with a greenish-brown discharge from my left nipple in November or 2007.
“I’m not worried about it, it’s probably fibrocystic breast disease, but if you like, I can drain it with a needle.” No attempt to express any of the discharge, no mention of sending it for a pathology test, no mention of a mammogram. I was 45 years old. Even then, this lack of concern struck me as odd, but I figured, he is an MD, he knows. In retrospect, he was supposed to follow up on this in three months, didn’t happen either. I had regular breast exams with him once a year, he’d mumble about lumpy breasts and their increased risk of cancer, but that was it.
But now he could not find a lymph node in my arm pit the size of half a plum. A big plum.
A month later I had a mammogram and was kept for an immediate biopsy. Two days later, his office called me in.
“You know, it’s a good thing we did that mammogram, because they found something.”
Yeah, let me guess, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! Hopefully with your head in it.
Asked why he did not send me for testing two years ago he apologized and told me that he may have been biased because I was a naturopathic doctor. Then he offered to find me another doctor, or to make sure I’d get a great disability in case I wanted to stay with him.
Maybe his license should be in the pot, too.
So four weeks ago I underwent a bilateral mastectomy, a lymph node dissection of the left axilla and a sentinel lymph node biopsy of the right one, plus immediate reconstruction with tissue expanders. The cancer had grown far too big to only remove a lump and the other breast also looked suspicious.
I am now 48 and the single mother of a 12-year-old child whose father is not involved in our lives or pays support. My entire family lives in Germany and I lost all my financial assets in the economic slide two years ago. My new boyfriend dumped me because I had cancer. My old boyfriend, who had promised to take care of me, my daughter and the dog after the surgery, bailed out a week before the big event.
So now that you may be feeling sorry for me (although I’m not, I’m a very happy camper, but what is good writing without a bit of drama), here is the interesting thing that happened after the surgery: Being a naturopathic doctor and having had surgery before, I had an idea of what to expect in terms of post-operative pain and discomfort. The last time I had morphine in the recovery room before I was allowed to take my homeopathic remedies once on the ward, and I did not like the mental dullness it caused. It didn’t do much for the pain either.
I therefore discussed using homeopathic remedies immediately after the surgery in the recovery room with my surgeons, who were both fine with it. I also asked my anaesthesiologist to give me positive healing affirmations during the surgery and he was happy to do so.
In addition, I took along a CD player with a wonderful relaxation and guided imagery CD by Dr. Teresa Clarke, MD, titled “Remembered Wellness”.
When I came to in the recovery room I was given my homeopathic concoction, see footnotes for ingredients. It helped dramatically but I had to take it every 8-10 minutes. I never needed any morphine at all and only a few Tylenol Extra Strengh later in the day, much to the surprise of the nurses. Once on the surgical station I asked for the CD player.
This was when the magic happened. My mind seemed to have been deconstructed by the anaesthetic and I felt as if I had been meditating deeply for hours. Avoiding morphine kept me clear-headed and the visualization CD kept me relaxed and positive. Then the revelations started, including incredibly profound insights into the nature of the mind, my condition, life in general, my future, my family, as well as the doctors, nurses and other patients around me.
For hours I happily surfed a blissful state of knowingness and clairvoyance, as well as a profound understanding that life was really all about love. It was love that was the true reality, love that was giving us life, love that could heal. Feeling love, I had almost no pain, or at least, the pain did not have me. As soon as other thoughts, any thoughts, tried to come in, there was pain. I was given the deep insight that everything was happening exactly as it had to, that all was well, that all life was interconnected and divinely orchestrated, for everyone and at all times, going back and forth into infinity.
Of course, this is something well described in all religious and mystical traditions, yet, to have such a profound personal experience of it was quite a different story.
It even felt as if my breasts had to come off for this love to be freed inside me.
I was shown that I would work more with children in the future, giving and receiving much love and that I would live a long time, although I had no fear of dying even before or after the cancer diagnosis.
The surgery may have helped my cancer, but it healed my soul, which was so much more important.
I wanted to share my experience to show others that there can be a different way to experience surgery, especially for serious conditions like cancer. I think that anaesthesia has the potential to temporarily change our level of awareness by reducing thought chatter and that this state can be used to heal on a deep level and to show us our true nature of divinity, love and connectedness.
I am not afraid of the cancer. Somehow it will be taken care of. I have a new lease on life and am very grateful to my wonderful surgeon, Dr. Biberdorf, who almost wept with concern when I was going to refuse the surgery initially.
In that moment of love from my doctor, everything changed.
Dr. Anke Zimmermann, ND
Footnote:
My protocol: You are welcome to make your own trauma complex to help yourself after surgery using my suggestion and I am also happy to consult with you as to how to take the remedies and which other ones you might need to help you with possible nausea, wound infections and others. Also feel free to contact me if you have had similar experiences and wish to share them.
Arnica 200CH (trauma and bruising)
Hypericum 200CH (damage to nerves, pain)
Staphysagria 200CH (healing incisions, reduce risk of infection from catherization)
Ignatia 200CH (to reduce emotional distress and grief)
4 pellets of each added to a 50 ml dropper bottle of good water and shaken hard 40 times. The pellets will gradually dissolve. Take ten drops as needed, even every few minutes, as soon as possible after surgery. You can feel it working after about 3-4 minutes and you can also feel it wearing off. You will need to take it less often as you improve. Remedies can be bought in many pharmacies, health food stores or from naturopathic or homeopathic practitioners. Make sure to discuss these with your doctor before surgery and have the bottle travel with you so you can have it in the recovery room.
Relaxation CD: Remembered Wellness, Dr. Teresa Clarke, available at www.inspirehealth.ca or at Dr. Neil McKinney’s office in Victoria, 250-386-3534.
Dr. Zimmerman can be reached at: –
Suite 2A – 2563 Penrhyn Road, Victoria, B.C.
Tel. 250-590-5828
www.drzimmermann.org
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