Simple tips for effective & fulfilling Caregiving: Visiting your parent(s)

Always enter the house with a smile.
Take a couple of deep breaths before you go in for your visit, so you slow down and focus on a pleasant visit, a cup of tea together and the tasks at hand. Feel happy and smile.

Connect with your mom or dad
Sit down for at least a few minutes before you start doing any tasks.
Ask how their day was, and take the time to listen. Put your hand over his/hers: gentle touch works magic and make sure you smile. If that is a challenge, think how much you love that person.  Making a connection and being present makes you both feel good.
P.S.: if the TV is on, suggest to turn it off for a while or have the volume down.

Talk more slowly when you talk to your parent.
Our lives are often so busy and we tend to talk fast, way too fast for the elderly.
Oh, and better stop multitasking when you talk: do not put groceries away and talk to them while you have your back turned to them.

Let your parent know what you’re doing.
Tell them what tasks you will be doing during your visit. Don’t rush through the house.
Slowing down is a skill you may have to develop, but you will notice that it has a positive effect on your loved one and on yourself.

Have your eyes and ears open for possible risks & “the unusual”.
This is crucial: always keep your eyes open during your visit. Things can change in an instant and older people are at risk for falls. Is there anything that gets in their way when they walk through the house? Are there any small rugs to trip over? Is the phone within reach?

Are there any spills on the kitchen floor? Do you smell something different?
Be aware of the unusual: a burner on the stove left on, a tap running, an unlocked patio door, the phone off the hook, food left on the counter for hours etc.
And… check the meds dispenser! You can always make written instructions to help with
proper intake of medication.

Keep a journal at hand.
A notebook comes in handy. Keep it in your parent’s house so all family members can document their findings and experience:

Anything you want to remember the unusual”: in behaviour, about things misplaced etc.
In this case… who is responsible for follow-up? Think about it and make a decision.

How long is your visit?
It’s helpful when you announce how long your visit will be. Give a reminder 10 minutes before you leave. Sit down for the final 5 minutes and enjoy.

Feel good about your visit!
After you leave the house and you’re back in your car, take a moment to pat yourself on the back and feel good about your visit. Share your experience with your family members, friends and update them with facts and fun stuff.

However… feel drained after your visit? Want to go off on a rant? Don’t pull others into your energy field. Take time for yourself, go for a walk and blow the steam off. Then decide with fresh awareness what you really want to share.

Saskia Jennings
Certified Caregiving Consultant & Educator
Nanaimo, B.C.
http://www.creatingbeingwell.com
Current Phone #: 647.528.2037