Caring For Your Parents.

Go to a dinner party or the gym and you’re sure to hear someone fretting about their parent’s health and well-being.  The number of adult children in North America caring for their parents is now over 44 million.  In addition, many individuals are caring for their parents while also raising their own children. They’re the “sandwich generation” – sandwiched between caring for those older and younger.

The only difference between caring for parents and caring for children is that the resources and support one finds in caring for children are often harder to find when caring for parents.  Many adult children feel as if they muddle through the day-to-day realities, putting Band-Aids on where they can and handling crisis as they arise.  And more of us are doing this because people are living longer than ever before!  It’s hard because most of us didn’t have role models in caring for the elderly like we had in caring for children.  That makes it seem daunting at times.  The worst part is many of our parents don’t want our help or don’t want to be a bother.  They want to be independent and they don’t want to be a burden, leaning on their children for support.

It’s important to come to terms with the idea of role reversal. In many instances you become the parents to your parents.  The psychological impact is not to be taken lightly.  For many of us, we’ve never seen our parents so vulnerable.  The pain of watching them deteriorate is real.  In many instances, old wounds begin to re-emerge.  Sibling rivalries flare up.  However, there can be a bright side to this. Instead of seeing this as an extra burden, this can be a wonderful time to heal those wounds and deepen the relationship with one’s parents and siblings.   Take time to speak with a friend or therapist about your feelings arising from having to care for your parents.  Join a support group for adult children caring for their parents.  Have family meetings to make sure everyone is on the same page.

Nowadays, most of us will care for an older adult some time in our life, whether we like it or not.  And it’s best to get prepared before you HAVE to be prepared!  In Victoria, the Eldercare Foundation run by Lori McLeod has a wealth of information.  The Yakimovich Wellness Centre offers free top-notch educational sessions on a wide variety of topics.  Other resources are available at the Alzheimer’s Association, which provides education information and support groups for any forms of dementia.  Many local senior centers provide classes and support groups for adult children caring for your parents.  Check your local paper for upcoming classes.  And most families find it helpful to introduce their mom or dad to a companion for a few hours a week so that they more easily transition into care when the time arrives.

Remember, you are not alone. You’re one of many people caring for your parents. And we can help!

Home Care Assistance,
1396 Hillside Avenue,
Victoria, B.C.
250-592-4881.  24 hour mobile # 250-217-8310
http://homecareassistancevictoria.ca